


Ikalgod: Love and Death

by daddylonglegs, paribeans



Series: Ikalgod [1]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Chili's, Crispy Honey-Chipotle Chicken Crispers®, Other, mindless self indulgence - Freeform, witness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-05-28 00:58:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6307606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daddylonglegs/pseuds/daddylonglegs, https://archiveofourown.org/users/paribeans/pseuds/paribeans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You've loved him for years, but he doesn't know. He's oblivious, so the only way he'll know is if you tell him. You decided that it is finally time, so you set up the perfect date. What will he do when you reveal your feelings to him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Welcome to Chili's

It was Valentine’s Day.   
You anxiously waited for him to arrive. It was sunny and mild apart from a few dark clouds rolling in over the mountains. Your heart fluttered nervously. Part of you hoped that he hadn’t realized the occasion, but of course you had intentionally asked him out for Valentine’s Day. Another part of you desperately wanted him to notice…. maybe even return your feelings. Yet, the date was casual, so you didn’t let yourself get your hopes up. You wondered before you came if you should bring him chocolate or something, but you had decided that would be too much. You sighed, but your heart rate accelerated as you checked your phone for the time. He was 15 minutes late, of course. “Is he even going to show up?” you asked your phone. He had blown you off countless times before, but this was the first event that you meant to fulfill a romantic purpose.  
You’d known each other for almost your entire lives, and spent a lot of time together, as friends. You weren’t sure when or how it happened, but somewhere along the way, you had developed serious feelings for him. God only knew how he felt about you, though. You had been silently tortured by these feelings, and trying to guess his, for a long time now, and you decided it was time to finally reveal them. You were incredibly anxious. Positive results could only be hoped for.  
Your head was filled with loud, nervous thoughts. Where was he? Did he blow you off again after all? Maybe he realized your feelings and got weirded out. It’s not like you had been subtle with them, after all, especially recently. You checked your phone. There were no “Sorry! I can’t make it” texts or any missed calls. Anxiously, you looked at the cartoon chili pepper that was staring at you from the window, wondering if you would ever get the chance to welcome your true love to Chili’s. As a few more minutes passed, you stood there, rocking on your feet impatiently and checking your reflection in the window. You were just fixing your hair when you were startled by the sudden appearance of a new reflection. Spinning around in a panic of butterflies and racing heartbeats, you greeted your Valentine.  
“W-welcome to Chili’s!” you said, trying to sound cheerful, but just ending up sounding nervous. You were nervous though, and deep down you wanted him to notice. Ikalgo….. the octopus you had been in love with for years. You would never admit to him that you saw him as an octopus, as he says he wish he wasn’t, but you figured he just had angsty identity issues. How sensitive! It just made you love him even more. He chuckled softly and looked up at you with teal eyes that swam with your reflection.   
“Nice place for a date, eh?” He said, looking at the giant chili pepper over the door.  
“Y-yeah!” You agreed, startled. He just admitted it was a date. “It is your favorite, after all!”   
That’s right, you knew exactly where to take him for a Valentine’s date. You knew everything about him. His favorite restaurant, his favorite color, favorite songs, and you planned to use each of them on this date, in order to make him notice you. No one would ever understand Ikalgo as much as you did. You just had to make him realize it.  
“Shall we?” He asked, and led you into the restaurant. Inside the door, a hostess with huge tiddies and a nametag that read “Sonico” greeted you and guided you to your table for two.  
“Your server will be right with you!” Sonico said cheerily, as you reached your table. She walked away, her heels clacking on the floor. Ikalgo pulled a chair out for you and sat across the table, gazing into your eyes. He had never looked at you this way before. Your knees felt weak and your heart sped up again. You desperately tried to calm yourself down before he noticed your nerves. In a strange way, it almost felt... like he was trying to return your feelings. Even if he wasn’t, he was definitely setting a mood. Your heart slowed down to a jog. Who knows what you would’ve done a moment ago if you weren’t in a public restaurant.  
A tall, ominous waiter with a blond mullet and a smiling expression appeared. He towered over you, casting a shadow across the table. He asked you in a very unsettling yet charming voice what you would like to drink. Ikalgo ordered a water, so you decided to get the same thing. The waiter handed you each a menu and then strode away, leaving you with unsettling chills.

“SON OF A BITCH!!”

Suddenly one of Ikalgo’s favorite songs came on. Witness by Mindless Self Indulgence. Your chills turned into anticipation. Time for the first stage of Operation Achieve Octopus: Ikalgo’s favorite song.

“GOD LIKES ME!!  
I AM THE BEST!!  
FUCK EVERY! BODY! ELSE!!   
SUCK ON MY-”

Ikalgo’s eyes widened. “I love this song!” He started singing along. Many of the other restaurant patrons looked towards the speakers on the ceiling, apparently quite concerned. Some of them side-eyed Ikalgo judgingly. This irritated you, but you pretended not to notice. Clearly, they didn’t appreciate real compositive mastery like Ikalgo did.  
“I know you love it,” you replied, quite proud of yourself, “I requested they play it before we came.”   
He stopped singing to look at you with an amazed expression. This made your stomach flutter. He smiled and looked you right in the face with wide eyes. “Wow! Thanks! That’s so thoughtful…” he trailed off, staring into your eyes again.  
You did all you could not to blush. Your ears grew hot and you hid the bottom half of your face with your menu. “I- it was no problem, really.” You looked over the menu to let him finish listening to the song. Stage One complete. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed that he was still looking at you. Your heart raced and you stared harder at the menu, not reading anything. You wanted to bury your reddening face into the list of sandwiches. Then, you remembered something important: you had to be brave. Being embarrassed wasn’t going to get you anywhere with Ikalgo. He was so apparently oblivious, that you would never be a thing until you made a move.   
In the corner of your eye you saw Ikalgo pick up his own menu. You took a deep breath, and scanned your own for the $20 Meals for Two section. Perfect. You looked back up and simultaneously, Ikalgo did the same. At the same time, you both said, “How about we get this?” You looked down at where Ikalgo was pointing on his menu. He was pointing to the same thing you were. The Crispy Honey-Chipotle Chicken Crispers®. As Ikalgo also noticed that you both suggested the same thing, he let out a small laugh that made your heart skip.  
The shady waiter from earlier came and asked what you'd like to order in a charming, yet unsettling voice. His smile looked genuine, but again gave you a bad feeling in your gut. His general existence made you feel uneasy. “Ah, the Crispy Honey-Chipotle Chicken Crispers®? An excellent choice for a date.” He gave you a creepy wink as he sauntered away into the kitchen.  
After some awkward small talk, mostly you showing off your knowledge of Ikalgo, your food finally arrived. You were filled with relief as your Crispy Honey-Chipotle Chicken Crispers® smelled delicious. You began to dig in, reaching for a Crispy Honey-Chipotle Chicken Crisper® when you felt a slimy appendage lightly brush the back of your hand. You felt your face flush as you ripped away your hand.   
“S-sorry.” Ikalgo apologized gently, blushing.  
“N-no! It’s oka-” you began to reply, but you were interrupted by the sound of a number of shocked gasps across the room. You turned to look as the gasps turned into screams and exclamations of horror. Across the room, a cute girl with short purple pigtails was sitting at a blood-covered table, across from a mangled, beheaded figure. People began to faint, but the girl took no notice. She casually raised an intimidating spiked bat across her table, and cried out cheerily, “Pipiru piru piru pipiru pi~!”  
Everyone who was still conscious watched, intrigued, as the mangled figure’s head and neck were restored. The blood that had splattered everywhere disappeared too. The figure took the shape of a basic middle-school boy. “Dokuro-chan!” He exclaimed softly, in Johnny Yong Bosch’s voice, “Don’t bludgeon me in the middle of a restaurant!!”   
“Sorry!!” The girl screeched in a disgustingly high pitched moe voice. As you looked closer you noticed a yellow halo glittering in the air above her head. An angel?  
Angel or not, you were irritated at that gorely display for interrupting your romantic mission. You no longer felt like eating after witnessing the sight of that boy’s brains spilled everywhere.  
Everyone went back to their previous conversations, casually, as if nothing had happened. “Aaaanyway……” Ikalgo said, as you turned back towards the table. “Did you try the Crispy Honey-Chipotle Chicken Crispers®? Ha, ha…” He tried awkwardly to encourage a conversation again, but noticed you lost your appetite. “....There’s... something I need to tell you…” He said. He looked up and gazed into your eyes with his teal ones sparkling, enamored. He was interrupted by Sonico, the pink-haired, big-tiddied waitress appearing at your table to refill your drink. Suddenly Dokuro-chan, with a shrieking laugh, flew at your table from behind you and swung a bat towards you, fast enough to hear the wind rush by. Luckily, Ikalgo shielded your head from being decapitated like the boy from earlier, but not without a few of his tentacles being severed as his blue octopus blood splashed all over your food. You and a number of other people screamed as Ikalgo fell to the floor. He would be fine, hopefully. His tentacles would grow back shortly.. Your food, however, went to Hell right as Only Time by Enya started playing on the speakers above you.  
Dokuro-chan repositioned herself to attack, and lunged at your table again, this time aiming for Sonico. Sonico dodged, only to lose her balance, spilling drinks everywhere and planting her gigantic ass squishy anime tiddies over your face. You couldn’t see. You couldn’t breathe. Your panic rose to dangerous levels. You felt Dokuro-chan strike another blow to Sonico’s back as her head went flying and blood splattered everywhere. Still suffocating in Sonico’s chest, you heard muffled screams and rising panic in the building. Dokuro-chan gave off another shrieking laugh as she flew back to her tablemate, grabbed him, and left the restaurant at mach 20 speed.   
You couldn’t move. Your eyes and lungs began to fill with Sonico’s blood. Your lungs burned. Is this the end? You thought, I never got to express my feelings to Ikalgo…. Is he okay? I hope he lives.... Soon, after your lungs had stopped throbbing from lack of oxygen, you saw a blinding light and you felt liberated from your body. You floated upwards towards the light and loss consciousness.


	2. Welcome to Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You wake up in an unfamiliar place. The only other one here is Ikalgo. As you begin to learn about where you are, you also begin to learn that there's more to Ikalgo than you thought.

As you awoke, the first thing you saw was your true love, Ikalgo, crouching over you. His bright teal eyes peered into your own, before you remembered what happened to you. That’s right, you thought you had died in Sonico’s tiddies, after she was killed by an insane angel, as Ikalgo lay bleeding on the floor of Chili’s.  
“You’re alive!” You said out loud, and threw your arms around Ikalgos round body. “I- I guess I’m alive, too! Did you save me?” You asked, blushing. But Ikalgo hesitated, and pulled away from you. The air seemed heavy. Something was wrong. He was no longer looking at you, but at the red dirt on the ground.  
Wait… red dirt? You looked around. You hadn’t even realized that you were no longer in Chili’s. You were too busy looking at Ikalgo. It seemed like you were in a cave, with a tall ceiling hanging with large, red stalactites. Every surface of the cave was terracotta red. Ikalgo’s light eyes stood out brightly from the surroundings.The only entrance to the cave was behind Ikalgo. It let in a creamy light, and seemed to lead downward. It was covered by a large black gate.  
“I-Ikalgo…. Where are we?” You said looking around, and then at him. He looked sadly at the ground.   
“.............Hell, I guess you could say. Welcome to the Underworld.”  
You could hardly believe your ears. “The….. Underworld?”   
So you had died, back in Chili’s. You were too shocked to know what to say, or feel. You were never really the religious type, so had never really considered the afterlife before. You looked incredulously at Ikalgo. Maybe it was a prank?  
“It’s not a prank if that’s what you’re wondering,” Ikalgo said, straightly, as if reading your mind.   
You could tell he was being serious. “So.. we are dead then? We were killed in Chili’s?”   
“We weren’t, you were.” Was the reply. What the hell could he possibly have meant by that? “........Listen. There are a lot of things you don’t know about me.” This was already starting to surprise you. Up until now, you were completely convinced that you knew everything about Ikalgo. Everything. “For one,” He continued, “I’m not a normal mortal. I’ve been alive for a lot longer than you think…. You see, I’m a reaper. I work here. In the Underworld. My job is to welcome newcomers to the gate, and either lead them to the good afterlife, or the bad. I’ve had this job for a long time now. This is the real me….” He looked up at you with a slight smile, “But, it wasn’t this way all the time… Can you fuckin’ believe it?” This, of course, was the most surprising confession of all. So many things you never thought possible were beginning to become reality. The afterlife, reapers, who knew Ikalgo was actually an immortal being? You didn’t know how to feel or how to react.. You thought you knew all there was to know about Ikalgo, but the truth was: you didn’t know a single thing about him.  
He continued his story “I… Working in the mortal world, looking for souls to reap, I came across you. Something interested me about you. I knew you would become someone special, so I decided to get to know you. So I reversed my age to match yours, and befriended you… But after a while, I realized… That it had to be me to welcome you into the Underworld when you died… I only wish it hadn’t happened so soon...” Ikalgo’s expression went from serious to utterly defeated. He looked like he was on the bitter verge of tears.   
You felt a numb pain in your chest. You stood up and walked towards him. Something about this situation had washed away all your anxieties. You were no longer afraid of Ikalgo’s reaction. You approached him, knelt down, and embraced him tightly. He wrapped his tentacles around you. You held each other close for a long time.  
“The truth is……” He said softly, between your embrace, “I wish I could’ve spent more time with you during your lifetime. I really wanted to be there with you for the whole thing. Until you died of old age and allowed me to escort you into a better place. But I guess…. I guess I never got the chance to tell you how much I...” he didn’t finish. Even in the Underworld, he seemed too embarrassed to tell you how he felt.  
But you understood. “Me too,” You agreed.  
After a few more moments together, Ikalgo stood up. “Time to enter the afterlife, then,” he said, holding out a tentacle, which you took, but didn’t need, in order to get to your feet.  
Ikalgo lead you to the black gate and said a password in an unidentifiable language. The gate swung open and you followed Ikalgo down a red staircase towards the light. Blinking as you left the cave exit, you found yourself gazing in awe at the world before you. It still felt like a cave, but a million times more vast.  
A long, marble bridge lay before you, over a deep ravine, of which you couldn’t see the bottom. On each side was a row of marble statues. Across the bridge was a wide plaza, where there stood a magnificent golden statue, maybe 200 feet tall, of a man in a glittering toga. As you looked at it longer you realized that it was the waiter from Chili’s. The creepy one with the blond mullet, that had given you that uneasy feeling.   
“That’s the God of Death.” Ikalgo explained, as you followed him over the bridge. “I work for him. I died a long time ago, and the reaper to escort me here was none other than the Death God himself. He told me that because of the deeds I had achieved during my almost-fulfilled life, he would offer me a deal. I could return to the mortal world, but only as a reaper, one of his employees. I could move between worlds as I pleased, but I would need to reach a certain quota of reaped souls every year. Usually I aim for the bare minimum. The other reapers can handle the rest, and I didn’t care for the rewards for large amounts. That’s why I was unable to make it to some of our dates, because I was reaping. Bad timing, I guess..”  
Wondering what else Ikalgo had kept from you, such as his past life, you looked around at more of this fantastic setting. To the God of Death’s right was another bridge, made of cream-colored marble. It lead to a tall white gate. Beyond the gate you could see fields of green grass and trees and flowers. It looked peaceful and inviting. That must be the good afterlife, you thought. To the statue’s left lay a dark bridge of black marble and basalt, leading to an iron gate. Behind that gate seemed to be a wasteland, comparable to the cave you had just exited, but far more vast. You couldn’t see much of it, because it was cloaked in a dark fog. You hoped you wouldn’t be spending your eternity there.   
Behind the statue was an enormous palace, with tall towers and spires, made of marble, basalt, and gold.  
“That’s where the God of Death lives,” Ikalgo said, following your line of sight. He suddenly looked guilty. “You... noticed him, in the restaurant. Didn’t you?”   
“Yeah,” you replied, “He was intimidating.”  
Ikalgo looked even more guilty, “Ugh… Of course, and I even noticed. I should’ve gotten you out of there as soon as I saw him. See, the reason the God of Death gave you such an ominous feeling, enough for you to notice, was because he was appearing as an omen. An omen for your death. God, I’m an idiot. I should have gotten you out.”  
“Don’t say that…” You tried to console him, “I don’t blame you… If it was that solid of an omen, then it doesn’t sound like there was any way around my death.”  
You were on the plaza now, under the statue. You began to notice other people around. Other freshly dead souls being led by reapers. Ikalgo was glaring up at the palace. “That bastard… I really hate him. For more reasons than one. Someday I’m going to overthrow him and take his job, as the new God of Death. I’ll definitely do it. When that happens, will you rule by my side?” Ikalgo looked up at you with that paralyzing blue gaze. Your heart rate sped up for the first time since you had died.   
“Of…Of course!”  
He smiled. “Good.”  
He led you towards the cream-colored bridge, which was relieving.  
“The reason I had to be the one to escort you, well… one of the reasons, was because some of the other reapers will intentionally lead innocent souls to the bad afterlife. Our actions aren’t monitored, so nobody stops them. I guess after being here so long, even the hand-picked good souls of the God will become bored. It’s incredibly fucked up. That’s also a reason I need to kill the God of Death.”   
You approached the gate, and Ikalgo said another undecipherable password. This one sounded sweeter than the other. The tall white gate opened, revealing a clear view of the green hedges and colorful flowers that lay beyond.   
“Everyone gets their own heaven,” Ikalgo explained, “It shouldn’t be that long of a walk.” He looked at you and you took a step inside the gate. “I guess,” Ikalgo was smiling, but he had a sad look. “I guess this is where we part… Don’t worry, even though it’s technically against the rules, I’ll come visit from time to time.” You looked into each other’s eyes for a long moment, and then Ikalgo began to turn away. He took a few steps up the bridge, and you had a realization… You still hadn’t explicitly told him how you felt.  
“Ikalgo! Wait!” You called after him. He stopped and turned around.  
“I love you.” He said, and you felt your heart speed up, and one last time, your cheeks burned. You smiled at him, and he smiled back.  
You had been waiting so long for this moment.


End file.
